Sleep.

I am a new woman.

It is amazing the power of sleep, or the lack thereof, has over a person. My ability to grip my nerves and lead with love, patients, gentleness, and all those wonderful womanly, motherly traits was guickly slipping into the dark hum of the night. My role as a wife, mother, and homemaker was severely suffering and I felt so lost. I had always done what felt natural and what I thought was best for Maverick and I knew we had reached another turning point on our journey together, but had no idea which direction to take. It seemed the road I had chosen was not proving to be successful. Little Mav sure has a nose for his mama.

That nose of his is the cause of our sleepless dilemma and so in a whirl of frustration and desperation I moved his crib into his room. I then decided if he was to be sleeping in his room it needed some love (aka: it needed to be cleaned (particularly the blinds, in a really bad way) and the curtains needed to be hung because it is broad daylight outside when he goes to bed at 7:30 and his is the sunniest room in the house). So some love I gave it. The blinds... gross to say the least. It isn't my fault either, they were like that when we moved in. Dead crusted spiders and flies. They were brown with old and new dust and I'm pretty sure the people who rented before had a cat... that's all I'll say on that matter. 

helping hang the curtains :)

Then I washed windows and swept and moved in his changing table and the rocking chair. First nap was pretty successful, short, but he was happy for a minute clicking his tongue, then he only cried for a couple minutes and fell asleep. Maverick and I hung out and played on the floor, laughing and crawling around (he really likes playing in his room, even before it was set up). When Kyle came home I kissed him, then we got curtain rods and he hung up the wonderful curtains his mom made for us. 

Then it was bed time.

Oh! I was so nervous! and it was so strange. 

I changed his diaper on the changing table instead of our bed and put on his warm pajamas because I'm don't want him to be too cold. We darked the room. Kyle read him "On the Night You Were Born" in the rocking chair instead of on our bed and I listened over the monitor. Then I nursed him in the rocking chair instead of snuggled on the bed, say him a few primary songs, put him in his crib, and quietly left the room.

He cried.

To my relief, my prayers were answered and he only cried about 5 minutes and fell asleep around 8. Kyle and I rearranged and cleaned our room and I went to bed.

So strange.

Midnight. He slept until midnight! I nursed him and rocked him and sang to him and put him back down. Quiet. He then woke up periodically throughout the night crying a little and then falling back to sleep. I would listen and wait and then fall back to sleep myself. Oh sleep! How I have missed you! He woke up at 5 and I brought him back to bed with me and we snuggled and nursed and slept until 7:30. When we woke up the sun was up and the birds were singing and the roosters crowing and we were both so happy and well rested! It was magical. 

I am a new woman.

And I thank Heavenly Father for his tender mercies! I was so much in need of that.

Now I'm going to do laundry... and dishes... and play with my baby and laugh and be silly with him because today is a new day and I am in love.